Current location
You are here: help with health > grief, loss and supportHelp with health
Grief, loss and support
Grief is a natural reaction to a painful loss. It is a normal emotion. We feel grief when someone dies and also during and after other major changes and losses in our lives, such as:
- moving or migrating
- changes caused by war, accident or chronic condition
- separation or divorce, and
- children leaving home.
What does grief feel like?
Everyone responds to grief in their own way. If you are grieving you may sometimes feel physically unwell as well as emotionally upset. You may experience:- shortness of breath
- loss of appetite
- crying, or
- tiredness and sleep problems.
Some people assume that grief is an illness - that there is something wrong with the person who is grieving. But grief can often be unresolved, complicated or delayed.
Grieving is a process, not an isolated event. Many people continue to grieve in subtle ways for the rest of their lives. When someone close to you dies, you may feel a whirlwind of emotions, from intense grief and loss to relief and calmness. You may have jumbled thoughts, a somewhat foggy feeling and difficulty making decisions. You may also wonder what life after caring will be like. Remember, there is no set time for grieving – it's an intensely individual matter. For some it takes longer to feel that the fog is lifting. Here are some ways to help yourself
- Talk to someone you trust about how you're feeling and the difficulties you're facing. Don't bottle up your emotions.
- See your doctor – be open about how you're feeling.
- For information contact 1800 200 422 and ask about the National Carer Counselling Program (more information).
- Look for other people who could support you. Perhaps you could revisit the staff and other carers at the aged care home, or your carer support group.
Grief counselling
Often, talking to someone you trust about your feelings can help you feel less isolated.Grief counselling can assist you to:
- understand and express your feelings
- cope with the reaction of others
- adjust to life in the absence of the person who has died, or
- utilise additional support available within the community.
Stress management
Finding ways to combat stress is another way of helping you manage grief and loss. This might include doing gentle physical activity, practising relaxation techniques or getting a massage.Read more: Prevention and awareness of mental illness
National Carer Counselling Program (NCCP)
The National Carer Counselling Program provides short-term counselling and emotional support and psychological support services for carers. This aims to help reduce carer stress, improve carer coping skills and facilitate, wherever appropriate, continuation of the carer role. The NCCP is delivered through the Network of Carer Associations in each state and territory. For information contact 1800 200 422.Carer support groups
Carer support groups provide emotional support. They can also be a safe place to talk about feelings such as anger and resentment. Whatever your situation, there is a support group you can join to meet other carers with similar experiences and to hear how other carers have coped with difficult situations. For information phone 1800 200 422.You can contact the Translating and Interpreting Service (TIS) on 13 14 50 (for the cost of a local call) if you need assistance in a language other than English. They will connect you to 1800 200 422.
Further information:
There are several national support organisations for grief and loss with local representation around the country:- The National Association for Grief and Loss has a range of links to local resources, education and counselling programs.
- The Centre for Grief Education is another independent, non-profit organisation and is the largest provider of grief and bereavement education in Australia. It details counselling services, education courses and support information.
Resources:
- 'An Unrecognised Grief. Loss and grief issues for carers: A carer's guide'.
Order from Carers Victoria – phone (03) 9396 9500. - 'Guidelines for a Palliative Approach in Residential Aged Care' – May 2004. Available on the Australian Government Department of Health and Ageing website
- Carers Information brochures
Other useful contacts:
Lifeline (24hr) phone counselling service: 13 11 14Good Grief
Compassionate Friends